October 11, 2002

By Veronica Mixon

I hope Madonna and Guy Ritchie are happily married because working together in a remake of Lina Wertmüller's Swept Away was a big mistake. Guy Ritchie may be a talented director but like her former husband, he can't make the singing superstar a better actress.

In Swept Away, three rich couples board a yacht for an extended vacation in the Mediterranean. Beautiful blonde Amber (Madonna) is a complaining shrew who dominates the group including her passive husband (Bruce Greenwood) and her drunken friend (Jeanne Tripplehorn). The crew tries to ignore Amber, who focuses her wrath on the ship's first mate, Giuseppe (Adriano Giannini) and peppers him with insults at every turn.

"That woman complains about everything!" says Giuseppe after he brings the gym - a small stationary bike - to Amber's cabin. This scene gets a big laugh - the best laugh in the film because unfortunately most of this is forced. At Amber's insistence, Giuseppe motors out to find the others who've gone to explore some caves and they get lost. When their rescue fails because Amber accidentally destroys their rubber dingy, Giuseppe takes his revenge. He's in charge because he finds shelter and he can catch fish to eat. He insists that she call him master and he dishes out the punishment. When Giuseppe whacks her and finally attacks her, you think you've wondered into one of Ritchie's other movies. The initial seduction borders on rape and when Madonna kisses Giuseppe's feet, the audience laughs. It's a wicked moment.

Ritchie captures the lustrous look of the Mediterranean and Madonna's golden tanned beauty is glorious like Mariangela Melato, who played Raffella in the Wertmüller movie. But her chiseled body looks too masculine at times. This is the one time when she needs to look soft and feminine and she doesn't in a swimsuit. However, Madonna radiates in a fantasy musical number and also when she plays opposite Adriano Giannini. There is a nice chemistry between them on the lonely beach.

Giannini, in his first English language film, is the son of Giancarlo Giannini, who starred in the original 1974 film. The 30-year-old actor is as handsome as his father and he's a charming presence in the film. However, Madonna is still too stiff in her role as Amber. She has no comic timing and fails to gain the audiences sympathy at the heartbreaking ending.

Guy Ritchie made a name for himself with fast-paced, action thrillers about British gangsters and oddball thugs. The shocking events often produced laughs but the insight that was so apparent in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch just isn't present in Swept Away. He missed a great opportunity to comment wealth, class and romantic angst.